You and your honey are walking down the street window-shopping on a Sunday afternoon. You look up from your world, and it’s a stranger; she’s coming towards you. Her face? Beautiful. Her body? Gorgeous. The way she's wearing that dress. Breathe! Fellas! Can you help it? Do you look? Ladies, do you check to see if he looks? If you catch him looking, is your darling in the doghouse? Issues of self-esteem, jealousy and biological tendencies are all exposed when we ask the question, “Is it okay to look at another man/woman when you are with your partner?”
I decided to dig into the root of this action, and then an interesting thought occurred to me. Some men might not always know that they're looking. Gentlemen, have you been caught eyeing another woman when you’re with your sweety? It may be time to give you all the benefit of the doubt. Could this be chalked up to more than a weakness but an actual condition? Hmmm, Eye Wanderitis, or what about Headturnarrea? Of the men that I have spoken with, all of them admit to taking a peek while walking beside their woman. Guys, what could be so sweet?
Now, let's admit, there are a lot of fellas out there who are trying to be decent. They see that a good-looking woman is around, and their eyes peel away as quickly as they land in an attempt to show their girlfriend/wife respect. There’s that short conflict in their mind, “I know she’s looking to see if I’m looking, so I’m not gonna look.” Woosh, that’s a lot of pressure. Why should a man have to go through so much just because he appreciates a lady’s effort to put herself together? Your lady knows she’s beautiful, so it really shouldn’t matter. I mean, if you didn’t think your woman was attractive, you wouldn’t be with her, right? Men appreciate a woman’s body, and it’s evident, in all forms of media, that a woman’s beauty can make a man buy anything from beer to broncos. One of the males I interviewed, a 32-year recruiter, stated, “Of course I look. I don’t see anything wrong with it. As long as I’m not being obvious about it, a glance is fine; I don’t see the problem!”
So why is it that most women don’t feel it’s acceptable if their loved one looks at another woman? Interestingly, all of the women I interviewed admit that it bothered or would bother them more if their man was looking at a woman who looked nothing like them. How can we explain this? Well, how can you hug your woman when your eyes are across the street? It’s almost like a man can’t make up his mind. He is served the delicious warm apple pie w/ ice cream, then suddenly he’s looking over at the big slice of cherry cheesecake, he then turns his head to eye the chocolate cake. Why can’t he simply be satisfied with the apple pie?
Well, it seems there’s a reason for this. Men are visual creatures. Frankly, it was something about you ladies that made your man look, wouldn’t you say? So now that you are the center of his affection, he should have no reason to look any further, right? Wrong! Men love to stare openly at women. Men love looking at softly bouncing breasts, the length of smooth, sexy, unexposed legs, and the peekings of barely covered cheeks. When asked, men are candid and admit they are having raw, primal sexual thoughts between themselves and that woman. When a woman is looking at a man, she may be thinking how sexy his chest looks in that sweater, but women may be more than likely to look at what he’s wearing, how he’s put himself together or speculate about social status. A woman staring at a man is more than likely to be daydreaming about him and her walking hand in hand in the park.
Despite the inherent differences between sexes, many women hate the way it makes them feel when their man looks. It makes them feel disrespected, not to mention looking foolish in the eyes of the watchee. This small, insensitive act can chop notches off your lady's esteem for the day. Why? The man she adores is adoring someone else. A 40 year old hairdresser states, “Men see some flesh, and they don’t know what to do with themselves, they’re like children.” Now, does that mean that women don't look? Most of the men I've spoken with claim that they have ''not'' caught their lady googling at another man.
What did the women say? “Of course, we look. We just don't make it obvious!” said a 35-year-old female caseworker. It is mutually agreed by both sexes that women have more couth when sizing up members of the opposite sex. For women, two seconds are enough to know exactly what kind of shoes he’s wearing, the colour of his pants and how many buttons he has on his jacket. Many of the men interviewed stated that it really wouldn’t bother them if their lady were to glance at another man. When asked, many of the men also say they would not be threatened if their lady was to look at another man. Now, why are men not bothered by the fact that women are looking at men? Do men have more self-esteem? A 33-year-old insurance broker confesses, “ If I know my lady thinks someone is attractive, I immediately find fault or poke fun at his shortcomings; it makes me look better, and the attention is turned right back to me!”
While it is obvious that there will always be attractive men and women passing you by, where do we draw the line? A glance may be just that, a glance, regardless of how R-rated his 10-second meaningless thought may be. Ladies, you will have to decide whether to look at it as just that, a meaningless act. Members of each of the sexes should have respect and practice control when in the presence of that sexy stranger. For those of you who are constantly being blamed for ogling - Newsflash…maybe you do! If you respect your darling, stay away from the drooling. Make your partner feel like number one, and stay focused on devouring that apple pie.
